The Punishment of Love

This may not be theologically sound. Bear with me.

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refused to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” -Matthew 18:17

I used to see this passage as a excerpt to endorse my desire to hurt another emotionally, to punish all those evil doers in the church for the things they have done and have not owned up to. If a brother or sister doesn’t listen to me or the church during all the stages or the “official” disciplinary process we must ostracize, ignore, shun, reject, avoid, cold-shoulder them, right? That’s what scripture tells us to do, doesn’t it? 


No. I no longer believe the above passage directs us anywhere close to this behavior. To many this scripture means backing away from these people, biblically punishing them for their sinfulness or wickedness. I think we’ve all heard it: “we have to back away from those who aren’t obeying the church.” “It’s biblical.” “We must make them realize their faults.” “They need to be punished for their behavior.” “This is how God wants us to act.”

Let’s add Jesus into the equation. Jesus is telling the people, “if he refuses to listen..treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” As I grow to know Jesus and understand his scriptures, I see this differently. “treat him like a pagan or tax collector” is the passage many of us stand on when we want to publicly discipline a brother or sister, thinking this will definitely change their behavior and turn them back to the loving arms of their community. I mean, Jesus went all over the place punishing people publicly to get them to come follow him, right? I wonder if the statistics regarding this punishment would show more people leaving the community because of this behavior over returning to it because they came to understand they did something wrong?

Correct me if I’m wrong (really, reply to this blog and let me know), did Jesus come to heal the sick sinners or the righteous (Matt 9:12, Mark 2:17, Luke 5:31)? Was He here to hang out with the sinners or those who believed they were sinless (Matt 9:9, Matt 9:10, Matt 9:11, Matt 10:3, Matt 11:19, Matt 21:32)? Did Jesus use an allegory to describe bringing pagans and tax collectors, poor and broken to banquets and parties? Did Jesus eat many meals with tax collectors? Did Jesus not preach a message of absolute, unadulterated, deep caring love? Isn’t Jesus love?

Don’t get me wrong, I know Jesus came with a sword; I know he is rather pissed over some of the things we’re all doing. I understand He will judge us accordingly. To some of you, you may be hearing from Him that you need to make the “sinners” who have ignored all stages of the church discipline process to pay- ignore them, turn your back, hate them, etc. But, that’s not my Jesus.

If we take a quick look at the chunk of scripture preparatory to this section (Matthew 18:10-14), Jesus teaches about the Parable of the Lost Sheep. He emphasizes how one, single, alone, wondering, sinning, broken, disobedient, wrong, hurting lost sheep is more important to him- at least at the time- than the 99 safe ones comfortably sleeping in their stall.

Is it a coincidence that chapter 18 of Matthew is placed together the way it is- one scripture in front of the other? In your heart, do you see Jesus going from a parable of deep love over loss of ONE of his sheep, to a willingness to turn His backs on a brother or sister who didn’t obey church discipline? What church are we even talking about- the Body or the building?

I can’t. Therefore, It is my claim that when asked to “treat him as as you would a pagan or a tax collector” Christ is simply, yet dramatically, guiding us to love them. Love these brothers and sisters well. Give yourself, your time, your heart to them. Punish them with love, overwhelming love- Christ’s love. In doing so, you are preaching the very gospel of Christ. “Preach the gospel always and [only] when necessary use words,” or “Dear children, let us not love with only words and tongue, but with action and truth.” Give them the most powerful, somewhat painful punishment of all- LOVE.

My friend Lauren has a sticker on the back of her car. This sticker is more than the laminated front cover, plastic insert, and sticky adhesive backing. This sticker, though only about the size of a credit card, weighs more than the entire car it’s attached to. The sticker is black with bold white writing: “LOVE WINS.” Love will never fail. The message of the Cross is love. If we are committed to Christ and loving others, His message will not fail. I can’t imagine a greater consequence to whatever bad behavior I’ve engaged in than love. Just imagine the dunces corner: “Eric, you’ve been bad. You hit Timmy. Go over to the corner and receive love from Jesus. We are all going to gather around you and hold you tight. We love you ever so dearly. I hope you learn your lesson.”

Lesson learned!

We all need to be loved into Christ’s arms. What action are we taking that loves our ostracized, ignored, shunned, rejected, avoided, cold-shouldered brother and sisters back into Christ’s arms? Pushing patience, time, and the things that often dissuade us out of the way of love, how are you loving your “pagan” or “tax collecting” friends? How can you punish someone who is in the wrong with love?

-When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

-The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." ' But wisdom is proved right by her actions."

-Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

-As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him.

-While Jesus was having dinner at Levi's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him.

So, is it possible Jesus was asking us to LOVE the “pagans” and “tax collectors?” Love wins, love never fails.


MANN