Upon my return from my final trip this summer here at Beyond, I’ve come to realize the significance and weight of the job I’ve been doing for the last three months. Despite the constant difficulty, learning how to work closely with very different people, and the internal struggles I’ve had throughout, I feel the veil has been removed from my eyes and I can see for the first time.
This last trip was a collection of adults all over the age of 50, including two doctors, two teachers, a physical and speech therapist, and a few retirees. Knowledge and wisdom flowed from every part of who they were, wrapping me in a sea of life advice. I am still wondering whether I guided them or they guided me. I’m leaning more towards the latter.
Many of the group members were married couples, and what a treat it was to see and observe well working, well oiled marital relationships. Not perfect relationships, but beautiful if so many perfect ways. One couple celebrated their 36th anniversary on our trip while standing in the rain around a large fire.
This was the perfect trip the end the summer with. Many of the days were damp, wet, and cold. Thunder and lightening joined us throughout the six-day trip. At one point late in the night, the lightening was so close the guide team was preparing to do a “lightening drill” which includes getting everyone out of their sleeping bags and having them stand out in an open filed- in the rain- crouched down on their tippy-toes on top of their Therma-Rest pads. What an awful and rude awakening that would have been. Just picture a 50 year old crouched down in the dark, out in the rain, at 2:00 am. Thank the Lord we didn’t have to do that.
The relationships I was gifted with this week are and will always be remembered. The encouragement I received from a group of parents who have sent their children to camp and in turn saw their kid’s lives change forever was jaw dropping.
The last day of the trip we were all sitting in a circle talking about the things we all wish to take home with us. In a roundabout way we went around the circle sharing. Many of the folks wanted to get back to the root of loving their neighbors as their selves. Some shared they wish to really start investigating the very real doubts and struggles they are having in their lives. And others wanted to start the process of depending on Christ as their leader and lover. Once these were voiced a few of the participants starting voicing encouraging words to us guides.
One guy, Phil, said, “You guys don’t know the impact you are having on our kids. You don’t see how it affects our entire family. You don’t get to see the changes it brings to all of us. Thank you for doing what you are doing. You are changing lives. I promise you.”
I couldn’t help but tear up as he looked into my eyes- and soul- and spoke directly to me. WOW! I think I needed to hear that.
Another couple, Peter and Kathy, shared a story with us about their daughter. They mentioned bringing their daughter to a Rockridge (a Canadian camp) for a week, and when they returned to pick up their daughter, she was a different woman- something had changed. And for the last few years she has been a different person because of the impact the camp staff had of her.
I think the entire guide team was tearing up. We couldn’t help but feel Christ’s love and encouragement flow through these participants. I honestly believe all of us heard exactly what we needed to for us to go on this year, for us to continue pursuing youth with all our hearts.
I watched this group leave yesterday after long hugs and sad goodbyes. I have been deeply affected by the men and woman I was blessed to have served this last week. Great attitudes, amazing hearts, depth of insight and understanding on who God is and what our call is, and amazing comprehension into the world and the real life problems that are out there. These people didn’t have a superficial relationship with Jesus- they are living in the questions, worshiping God, and learning to grow into the answers.
I confess throughout this summer I felt inadequate for the position I fill here at Beyond. I never truly felt like I had a grip on the job; I never felt in control. Looking back over the summer, with this in mind, I now see that is exactly where I had to be. If I were to have controlled these trips, they would have been my trips, not God’s. God wouldn’t have had room to breath and work with me constantly messing things up. I learned a very valuable lesson this summer: live comfortably in the discomfort. God’s got it. Trust. Really trust- deep, unadulterated trust.
Thank you Father. I trust you- with the best understanding I have of trust, I trust you.
This week I start the process of cleaning and packing all the Beyond gear in the storage area. Directly following that is packing all my personal things and filling up the car with gas for the long drive home.
Man, I have learned so much this summer. I can’t put a price on the things I’ve learned. I value them as priceless. The amazing gift it’s been to be here this summer...
There is a real tug-of-war going on within my soul. I want to go home and see my family and friends, but I now feel part of my heart is here at home in Egmont.
Father, help me to transition back into the community you have for me in Seattle.
Love, Eric.
Amen.
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