Monstrous Trust

Trust is an interesting concept. In many ways it seems to be an easy way out from underneath real understanding or a possible crutch. The question runs through my mind almost constantly: can we truly, genuinely, and with life changing results trust God with every and all things?

I’m perplexed by many of my brothers and sisters when throwing around the words, “just trust God... trust, man; just trust.” I completely grasp the idea being communicated to me but often get stuck with how simple they make it sound. Maybe it’s just me, but It’s not that easy! Maybe it’s easier for some over others. Maybe I’m in the minority here. It’s not easy to simply trust God: not doubt, not worry, not attempt to control, not do what I think is best, not rely on my abilities and mind. Trust is a five letter word that weighs close to a thousand pounds.

The Webster dictionary defines trust in two significant ways:

1) Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.



and 


2) Acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation.

These two definitions stand out to me. Why? Because when looking through the lens of a lover and follower of Christ, I can’t help but see how these two statements essentially define my faith walk.

I believe it is important to note that in regard to number one above, Christ, God, and the Bible come to mind. As for number two, though we -as followers of Christ- do have significant evidence and we should be investigating and asking real questions of God, Christ, Scripture, and life’s events, we ultimately have to accept the foundational truth of the Gospel- Geneses to Revelation.

What would life be like if we could live simply under the umbrella of trust and faith without a moment of doubt or worry? Though I value highly the desire and ability to question the “facts” of Scripture and life, at some point, even with all the knowledge and understanding we humans can attain, we must simply believe and trust the word and promises of God. The transition from understanding and knowledge to trusting, living, and walking in faith and truth is a tough one. There is no simple path.

Scripture tells us to,

*“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight” (Proverbs 3:5) 


*“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:3-4)


*“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid” (Psalm 56:3-4)


*“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me [Jesus]” (John 14:1)

Keeping these truths in mind, there is a story that sticks out in my heart- it’s the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the book of Daniel. These three men went against the government, law, tradition, and the system (Daniel 3:1-30), with the knowledge and understanding that king Nbuchadnezzar would be thoroughly unhappy with them and put them to death. They trusted in the Lord, waited patiently for Him, and walked boldly against what was incorrect or wrong in reverence and honor and glorification of God. The outcome: God blessed them for their trust.

“Then Nebuchadnezzar said, ‘Praise be to God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their God” (Daniel 3:28).

Their ability to trust baffles me. I understand it, but it’s beyond my comprehension the faith required. The willingness to be put to death in a furnace that was heated seven times hotter that normal (Daniel 3: 19), in one of the most - in my opinion- horrible ways possible to die, simply baffles me. These three guys had enough trust in God’s promises to make the statement, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king...” They don’t stop with the simple fact that God is going to rescue them. What statements they continue with show their ability to understand real, difficult, heartbreaking life as well. They go on to say, “But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18). Yahtzee!

Incredible trust and faith! Their trust and faith was not based on the idea that they WERE going to be saved from the furnace or that in any way God was going to show up how they thought he should; their trust and faith was realistic- it was based on their belief that whatever happened God was going to walk beside them through it all. The outcome wasn’t guaranteed to be anything close to being saved from the furnace or not being killed all together.

Similarly, our trust doesn’t mean things are going to turn out the way we want or think they should. The picture many of us carry around in our minds of what life looks like- what job we should have, our financial situation, our spouse, where we live, our retirement fund, etc.- is certainly not the life you are going to live or what God has planned for us, but it does mean that God will walk beside us though everything and he will comfort, stretch, and grow us in ways that bring his name in the light and bring us to a place of deeper spiritual maturity.

Spiritual maturity comes in many ways, shapes, and forms. Real trust shows real maturity. I confess my inability to trust, often wanting to trust myself over the things I know to be truth and relying on God’s promises. When I pray about any particular thing, I often pray for clarity. I pray that things would be clear to me, that I would have an unambiguous, clear-cut, understandable picture as to what move I should make or direction I should take. The truth is, praying for clarity is not trusting. Praying for clarity is asking to be in control of whatever we need clarity on, wanting to understand the outcome instead of faithfully trusting that whatever the outcome, God’s in complete control.

In the book Ruthless Trust (2000) Brennan Manning shares a story that I believe speaks directly to this. It’s a story about ethicist John Kavanaugh and Mother Teresa when they met years back. Kavanaugh was on a three month visit to ‘the house of the dying’ in Calcutta while simultaneously seeking answers to what he should do with the rest of his life. During his first day there, Mother Teresa approached him and asked what she could do for him during his stay. Without a moments thought Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him. The remaining dialogue went like this:

“‘What do you want be to pray for?’ she asked. He voiced the request that he had borne thousands of miles from the United States: ‘Pray that I have clarity.’

She said firmly, ‘No, I will not do that.’ When he asked her why, she said, ‘Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.’ When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, ‘I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.’"

What a poignant, powerful reminder of the need to trust the promises of the God we claim to worship. Manning (2000) went on to say, “The first [clarity] is a matter of the head, the second [trust] a matter of the heart. The first can leave us unchanged, the second intrinsically brings change” (p. 6).

In conclusion, there is absolutely no easy way to trust; there is no formula for trust; there is no head knowledge trust; there is no pill we can take that will allow us to trust; there is no self-help book that will allow us to trust. It’s a matter of faith; it’s a matter of truth. We can only understand trust by trusting, by seeing what God does with our trust.

“Put trust in God first. Our Lord never put His trust in any person. Yet He was never suspicious, never bitter, and never lost hope for anyone, because He put His trust in God first. He trusted absolutely in what God’s grace could do for others. If I put my trust in human beings first, the end result will be my despair and hopelessness toward everyone. I will become bitter because I have insisted that people be what no person can ever be- absolutely perfect and right. Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God” (Chambers).

Repression's Ghost

Life is a ongoing process of learning about ourselves, the world surrounding us, and the Almighty God, and how He relates to us, all the while excepting our brokenness and embracing the love and grace of Jesus. Throughout my personal pursuit of life’s answers I’ve spent significant time investigating the psychology of humans and the relationship between childhood, early adolescence, and early adulthood up-and-to full adulthood. Currently, I am pondering Even farther along the road less traveled, by Dr. Scott Peck (1993), who writes about the ghost of our young lives’ repression of memories we’ve blocked out, consciously or subconsciously. Peck goes on to say unaddressed childhood issues which have been repressed manifest themselves as ghosts of our past here now in the future, poking their head out in our lives at the most inappropriate times and causing our behavior to be dictated by forgotten past memories.

We may not realize or remember the experience or experiences which were repressed of any particular event or period of time, but these things- or the repression of these things- deeply affects us here in the present, every and all days we continue to live. I see the signs of repression in others around me and I tremble for them; I see the possibility of this in myself and I cringe for fear of the absolute unknown in my life.

“It is possible to push a memory of something that happened to us out of our consciousness. We cannot consciously remember it, but it doesn’t go away when we do this. In fact, it becomes a ghost that haunts us and makes things worse than if we remembered it...

It is possible, for instance, for woman who have been repeatedly sexually molested- week after week after week for a period of two or three years by their fathers or step fathers- to actually forget that. They can’t even remember that it even happened, because they have repressed it. But these woman end up in therapy, usually because the relationships they are trying to form with men in their lives are abominable. That early experience, which they cannot remember, continues to haunt them” (Peck, 1993, p.45-46).

The idea that many of us are carrying wounds around with us day in-and-out without conscious knowledge of these wounds, with actions and behavior being highly influenced by them, with continual negative life events and experiences affected due to them brings me to my knees in tears because many are missing out on real, tangible, life changing healing.

Is there a fix for each of us? Are we addressing our issues, our past? Are we getting the help we need? Are we walking boldly into healable wounds or are we walking away from them and disregarding them in fear?

I understand many of us are scared to open our can of worms- many horrible memories still affecting us to this day. We fear the unknown. We’ve ignored or repressed the past, we’ve been able to forget. Shouldn’t we just move on?

I don’t think any of us have truly forgotten. I don’t think it’s about forgetting. Even when it comes to forgiving another, scripture doesn’t tell us to forget. The old American adage “forgive and forget” is incorrect. There may be a wrong, there may be something to forgive, but it’s not about forgetting- it’s not about suppressing, it’s about addressing. It’s about being authentic and real while looking honestly at the wound. Are we walking a path towards healing? Is it time to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus into the unknown of our past- I believe it is.

Repressing consciously or unconsciously our past has detrimental effects on our present and future. Our enemy - the devil- hides in the shadows waiting. He’s waiting to pounce. What he would like the most is for us to pretend everything is OK, to continue to stumble around fixable wounds, to move on without fully understanding our lives and what has made us the way we are. Conversely, I believe our loving Father-God wants us to honestly and truly walk in the freedom of Christ, and it’s my believe that understanding and bringing healing to our past allows us to worship, love, care for, show mercy, forgive, and live for Christ in the present in a more complete and whole fashion.

The enemy wins when we don’t claim the truth, walk in the light, and open the door to our past while Jesus holds us tight, affirming softly that “everything is going to be OK, we are going to do this together.”

I would argue that many of us neglect the need for help for we don’t believe we are worthy of being helped, possibly we don’t feel important or loved, or there are simply too many issues to wade through. God’s truth, however, speaks louder than the external propagandized voice many of us have heard since birth. We are the Beloved of the living God!

As followers of Christ we walk in a cloud of constant bombardment of negative words and ideas pitched to us by the enemy as he roams around trying to knock us off our path of healing. We are living in a world that screams, “You are no good, you are ugly, you are worthless, despicable, you are nobody.” With these words often working diligently to drown out the Spirit whispering in our ear, we are of course going to ignore our need for better self love and understanding.

But the truth speaks louder than this negativity. Luckily, there is a much louder, softer, warmer, and welcoming voice within us all. The voice of Jesus.

Are you going to venture into the unknown with Jesus? There is healing, there is new life. You are the Beloved. You are worthy of a new beginning. You are dearly loved. Walk boldly.


References:

Nouwen, H. (1992). Life of the Beloved. New York, New York: Crossroads publishing.

Peck, S. M. (1993). Further along the road less traveled. New York, New York: Touchstone publishing.

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