Religiosity

It was once shared from the mouth of Gandhi, “Religions are different roads converging upon the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads as long as we reach the same goal?”

During the genesis of my Christian faith, I was taught - and believed - that Christ was the only way to God, that Christianity was the truth and all other religions and versions of Christianity were erroneous or in absolute opposition to the true gospel. I believed that those who don’t adopt the belief system/ framework of Christianity will end up in Hell melting in the fiery heat for eternity. Today, I sincerely disagree.

I no longer believe we can fit God into a box, or in a book- even the Bible! It is my contention that American Christianity, organized Christianity, evangelical Christianity teach inaccurate doctrine; thus, leaving many – at least those who eventually crawl out of the coffin or fluffy religion – to feel betrayed, lied to, and in so many ways alone in a dark and ominous cloud of questions and doubt.

I speak with authority, for I am currently (and have been for the last couple years) precariously poised on the line between believer and non-believer in any version of Christianity. This mental dichotomy between Jesus and his son-of-God teachings and the very real mistakes, misquotes, misinterpretation, and seeming errors in text, which is the very thing we use to create our picture of God and the attributes He holds, feels like a continual ripping of a scab from my mental and emotional skin.

I can't seem to get a footing any longer in this belief system. Every attempt and firmly placing my heart, mind, or soul in a strong foothold of the soil of belief in God explodes underneath my feet when other, very real and powerful, truth comes crashing down from above. It seems truth has taken on a very different look this last couple years. There doesn’t seem to be any absolute truth nearby staring back at me as I look longingly.

Honestly, I wish I were completely free of any doubt or reason. I wish I were ignorant of wonder. I want a foundation; I want framework. However, I do realize things will get better. One day I will believe… in something.